New Year, new mindset. That’s what today’s podcast is all about. To help us navigate this with simple strategies and expert advice is my friend and mental health therapist Katie McGraw. You don’t want to miss Katie’s take on this. Tune in!
New Year, New Mindset
Welcome back to Small Daily Habits, the podcast where we empower busy women to create sustainable habits for a healthy, balanced and fulfilling life. Today, I’m thrilled to have Katie McGraw with us. Katie is a mental health professional, business owner, and mom who has faced and overcome incredible challenges while helping others navigate their own. Today she is here to share her expertise with us as we enter the new year with high hopes and expectations but also may be struggling with our mental health in some way. Katie, thank you so much for joining us today! Please tell us a little about yourself.
About Katie McGraw
Katie: Thank you so much for having me, Christine. I’m thrilled to be here. This is such an exciting time of year, and I know it’s a time that a lot of people start to focus on themselves and their mental health. I have been in the mental health field for over 2 decades now. This field is a passion of mine. I love therapy, all types. I love individual, group, and adventure therapy. If you haven’t heard of adventure therapy look it up. But as a mom and as a recent divorcee, I have had a lot of challenges in the last decade.
The Diagnosis
Katie: When I found out my son had a terminal illness, spinal muscular atrophy, I really took a step back from the mental health world to put all of my focus into my kid. What I realized is that we can really truly be able to overcome anything as long as we are looking at our obstacles as challenges that can get us to our next destination instead of wear us down.
Even when you get a diagnosis and someone says something that changes your life, like “it’s over, take your kid home and love them.” When it’s a baby you can’t even comprehend what that means. It’s my first kid and you’re telling me to take him home and love him then I can have another.
What do you mean? I can say that it doesn’t mean that a diagnosis is going to be a reality. I was told that my son wasn’t going to live past two and he’s about to celebrate his 11th birthday and healthier than ever. Sometimes we just really have to look beyond what is holding us down and find a new path or direction. A lot of being able to find a new path is being able to have a positive mindset and realizing that what is holding you down right now doesn’t have to in the future.
You can take your pain and channel it into your strengths and that is where I come in as a mental health therapist. I love being able to help people see the best version of themselves.
Balancing Mental Health with a Full Life
Christine: I love that, Katie. What are some of the most common mental health challenges you see women struggling with especially as we enter the new year?
Katie: Thank you, I definitely see an uptick in depression surrounding the holidays. A lot of times it can get worse after the holidays are over and people start to feel anxious or overwhelmed with the pressure we often put on ourselves to be better.
Christine: Absolutely!
How to Avoid Burnout
What are some early signs? So for me, a lot of what I see with my clients this time of year is high hopes, aspirations, and New Year’s Resolutions but they want to tackle everything all at once and it leads to burnout and in their mind’s failure. So, what are some ways that you can recognize this or signs to watch out for so that you don’t head into burnout?
Katie: Yeah, absolutely. Kind of stop it before you get to where it feels so unproductive. Usually, burnout symptoms, especially in women, is you begin to feel a lack of motivation. You see a pile of things to do that just feels like you can’t get to the bottom no matter what you do. There is just not enough time in the day.
Christine: Yes!
Focus on ONE Task at a Time
Katie: So instead of doing anything, you do nothing. That sense of overwhelm really can carry over to every aspect of your life until you feel useless as a mom, useless as a wife, useless as a friend, sister, useless at work. You can also get imposter syndrome really bad when you feel like you are not good enough to complete tasks and that can really make you feel stuck and put you in a depression.
So, I would say in order to avoid that, just focus on ONE thing. One thing at a time. And every time you complete that one thing you can go to the next thing. And then, instead of the pile getting bigger, it’s actually getting a lot smaller over time.
As women, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do it all and to do it all right now or something cataclysmic is going to happen to us. But that’s simply not true. We will get more accomplished if we just get one thing done and then then next thing and the next. Checking things off like that, even small things, is motivating and pushes us forward no matter how daunting.
Throw Out the All or Nothing Mindset
Christine: I love that! I call it the all or nothing vs the all or something mindset. I’m trying to get the clients I work with out of the all or nothing mindset. They do all the things or they are not doing any of them. I focus on the ONE thing too. What is that one thing in your life right now that will get you from point A to point B. Then point B to point C. There is A to Z but there are all these stops in between. That’s how I like to think of it.
Katie: Yes, absolutely. I don’t know what it is about being a woman and being a mom and being all these other things that sometimes we just feel like we are going to get buried under it all. But it’s very empowering to check them off your list instead of feeling like we’re responsible for it all right at this very moment.
Christine: Exactly! And even as someone who promotes this and wants this for her clients, I find I fall into this category at times. I do that to myself, and I have to be mindful and very purposeful with how I relate to those things.
Katie: Absolutely!
Strategies for Finding Balance and Overcoming Guilt
Christine: For women who feel overwhelmed by taking care of the kids or even aging parents, work, and/or personal struggles, what strategies do you recommend to help them find balance and avoid guilt? I know we kind of talked about that already but do you have any other pointers?
Katie: Absolutely, I feel like I am an expert here more than anywhere else because self-care has been my survival guide. I believe strongly in doing something positive for yourself every day. Not only is self-care important to your overall wellbeing during times of high stress, but it also becomes a lifeline that will improve your mental, physical, and even spiritual health.
I would say the more you have on your plate, the more that you need to do for you. Give yourself as many positive, fueling activities and rewards that you can. Plan them. Plan to take a bubble bath, read a good book, and to watch your favorite show. Because looking forward to small things can actually promote positivity in so many different areas of your life.
It lights up all the reward receptors in our brain and that gives us a sense of “I can” that empowers our entire being. Certainly, don’t ever feel guilty for doing something for you. Just know that if you are not doing it, you’re going to feel way more guilty when you are not able to do it for anyone else.
Christine: Yeah, self-care isn’t selfish. That’s what I try to tell my clients. Moms tend to look at self-care as being selfish and it’s not! You have to take care of you and pour into you before you can take care of others.
Katie: Absolutely.
Regaining Confidence After Setbacks
Christine: For women who are rebuilding after personal setbacks, what advice would you give for regaining confidence and direction?
Katie: Well, first of all, I think it’s really important to know that you are okay where you are. The first step is to really be fine with the present. Whatever your situation is, whatever you feel like has been thrown your way, feel all the feelings of it and be okay there. It’s okay if you feel like you have taken few steps back.
A setback may not even be a setback. It may just be a different direction. But when you have the mindset that you’re okay, even if you are not thrilled, then you’re already a step ahead. Also know that your challenges may feel like obstacles, but a lot of times there here to propel us forward or become something new and exciting that you had no idea was coming your way. I just feel that it’s very important when you are in this place to stabilize yourself and be okay where you are. The alternative is that you just keep falling. But the moment you shift your mind and know that you’re fine, then your possibilities become endless.
Christine: So true, I love that advice.
Maintaining Resilience Through Challenges
Christine: You’ve faced some significant challenges recently. Can you share how you maintained resilience and rose above those tough times?
Katie: Yes, absolutely. I would say thank you for thinking that I’ve remained resilient. I’ve definitely had my moments. I’m not going to pretend that I haven’t. I too have had times in my life where I felt I was in this black hole and it would just keep going forever and ever. And that’s one reason why I’m so passionate about not getting stuck there. Because getting stuck there is where time passes and nothing happens.
That feeling can be endless and no one wants to spend their life there. I would say for me, the reason that I have been able to come out of that and into this new life that I’m really learning to enjoy again is because I’m choosing to focus on the life I want to create instead of the chapters that have been closed for me.
Christine: Absolutely, I think that sometimes we have this set idea of what our life is supposed to look like and we get so attached to this that it takes a moment to reflect and see that the setback might be the exact thing we need to propel us forward.
A New Way of Seeing Obstacles
Katie: That’s one of the things I love. I love imagining obstacles as the path forward. Because when we take an obstacle and reframe it, as the way or the thing we have to get through, then there isn’t anything else to do other than to push forward and get through it. It’s important because the past is gone. It’s already happened. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change it. Nothing that you can do to hang on.
And sometimes, I think even more so as women, that ideology of the life we thought we’d have, we cling onto an illusion in order to maintain the image of a life we thought we were supposed to have. I just want to say to anyone who is stuck there that shattering that image is so empowering. Being able to see behind the mask and see what reality actually is, it’s amazing!
Christine: It’s great. For me, being a personal trainer and someone who promotes mindset it’s difficult sometimes to share your own struggles as you go through this but when you do you find that people really connect with that. I think that’s an important part to share because even though it feels uncomfortable, that’s what people can relate to and that’s what is going to help people take that next step.
Finding Support
Christine: Finding the right support system can seem like a daunting experience. How do you recommend women approach finding a therapist or support group?
Katie: Wow, there are so many ways to find a therapist. You can search online or call your insurance provider. I would also recommend group support. Sometimes you never know how much hearing what other people are going through will actually be able to help you gain a new perspective.
What if Seeking Help Feels Scary?
Christine: Perfect! For women who might feel hesitant about seeking help, how can they overcome that fear?
Katie: I would definitely tell them to figure out why they are feeling hesitant. Where is it coming from? Is it coming from feeling like you are not worthy of therapy? Because everyone is worthy of feeling their best and being their best and actually NEEDS to be.
Is it because you feel like it isn’t going to work? If that’s the case, I challenge you to figure out why. Maybe try to ease in by journaling or different self-help kind of exercises. But I would say really if you are feeling hesitant, know that the only thing therapy can do is help you to feel better in some way.
I know that sometimes it’s hard to talk about things that are haunting us but releasing them in a safe space is what makes room for more life.
Opening Up About Obstacles is Key
Christine: Yes, I think a lot of women tend to feel like talking about it might somehow make it worse. Or revisiting those feelings from whatever it is you are trying to overcome will deter them. But really opening up and talking about the things and shining light on what it is that is holding you back, I feel like that’s the exact thing needed to move forward. It’s just hard sometimes to get over that hurdle.
Katie: It is, it absolutely is. It’s very hard to open up wounds. And sometimes we will do anything as women to protect ourselves and make it so that we can compartmentalize things and then we don’t have to think about it anymore.
I like to think of it as a soda can. The more we are under pressure and not releasing it, the more we are shaking it up, and shaking it up, that finally when you open the can it explodes everywhere. That’s what happens to us if we bury our problems and don’t deal with them. It can feel so painful to open up an old wound but the healing that you get on the other side, it’s like having a new lease on life.
Christine: Absolutely!
Small Daily Habits to Improve Mental Health
Christine: Katie, this conversation has been so inspiring and packed with actionable advice. Before we wrap up, what’s one small daily habit you recommend every woman start today to improve their mental health?
Katie: Absolutely, that’s my favorite. I would suggest that every single woman get out something to write in and when you wake up in the morning or before bed tell yourself one reason that you love yourself or one reason that you are proud of yourself and do this every single day. Just remember that self-love is the first step to self-healing. I know a lot of times it sounds like a weird concept to love yourself, but it is the most important thing to do. How can we love others if we don’t love ourselves first. Give yourself that love, give yourself that hug and tell yourself you’re worth it!
Christine: I love that, and it’s something that can be done so quickly and easily at any point in your day. There are no barriers to doing it. You can sit down, take a deep breath as you’re having your cup of coffee in the morning and just say one thing to yourself. I love that!
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and insights, Katie. Where can our listeners connect with you if they’d like to learn more about your work?
How to Connect with Katie
Katie: There are so many different ways to connect with me. I have a really awesome Facebook group that is a lot of free self-help guides and support. And I have a lot of links to resources and different support groups that are virtual there. You can also learn how to book a session with me. I do take insurance in a couple of different states as well as self-pay options.
I also just released my first book which I am really excited about. It is a self-help workbook and journal with a lot of really powerful, clinically proven mental health practices and activities. It’s called the Positive Life Mental Wellness Journal. Be sure to check that out here. Lastly, you can check me out on my website. Thank you so much!
Final Thoughts
Christine: You’re welcome! Thank you so much for coming here today and speaking to the listeners.
Katie: Thank you so much for having me. This has been wonderful, and I am so excited to see all your listeners take new steps into their mental well-being.
Christine: You are most welcome Katie. It was a pleasure having you here so thanks again and thanks to all our listeners for tuning in today. I hope you are inspired to put mental health at the top of your list in 2025. I know I am! If you loved today’s episode don’t forget to follow, share, and write a review! Meet me back here next week for our first podcast in 2025 where we will be talking about a better way to approach goal setting in the new year. See you there!
Remember, BIG changes begin with Small Daily Habits. Happy New Year! Until next time!
If you liked today’s episode, check out End-of-Year Reset: Simple Habits for a Meaningful New Year. It pairs really well with today’s topic and will get you on the right track in 2025. Listen here or read the show notes here.
Christine
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