If you’ve ever felt stuck—whether it’s in your health, relationships, career, or even just your daily routine—this episode is for you. We’ll dive into the patterns and barriers that keep us from moving forward in midlife and more importantly, how you can break free to reclaim your time, energy, and confidence. By the end of this episode, you’ll have actionable steps to help you break free, create some momentum in whatever area of life you are working on and start thriving. Let’s dive in and get ready to embrace progress over perfection! You can tune in here.
Welcome back to Small Daily Habits, the podcast for busy women over 40 who want to achieve big results through small, sustainable changes. I’m your host and menopause coach, Christine, and today we’re tackling a question that hits close to home for so many of us: What’s holding me back?”
Identifying What’s Holding You Back
We’ve all been there— that feeling like you’re running in place while life keeps moving forward. This seems especially true as you reach the age of perimenopause. You may even be experiencing the feeling like you are falling behind. Before you can move past this feeling of being “stuck” or “falling behind” we need to figure out what’s holding us back in the first place. Here are four common culprits:
Fear:
Fear of failure, success, or maybe even the fear of the unknown. This can truly paralyze us. So, my question is this….
What are you afraid of and is it holding you back?
Perfectionism:
You know the feeling of waiting for the exact perfect moment to do something, or the perfect plan to unfold, or the perfect circumstances where all the stars align in our favor. This so called “perfect” time often never comes so what are you waiting for?
Self-Doubt:
You know that little voice inside that gets louder at the most inopportune times saying things like, “Who do you think you are for thinking you can do this?” or “You’re not good enough for this career, relationship, opportunity, lifestyle, fill in the blank.”
Lack of Clarity:
Sometimes, we’re stuck simply because we don’t know where we want to go, and I think when one reaches perimenopause that is one of those times. At this point in life, we’ve all poured ourselves into raising families, careers, marriages or some combination of the 3. We’ve also most likely walked one or both of our parents through a health scare at one point or another.
My point being, we have been the caregivers in our relationships for so long and put own needs on the back burner that we barely know who we are and what we need at this stage in life. We have SO much going on at this moment that clarity feels fleeting. And when clarity feels fleeting at best, fear, perfectionism, and self-doubt have a way of creeping in even more.
So, let’s go back for a moment.
Close your eyes if you are in a safe space to do so and think about which of these resonates with you the most. Maybe you identify with more than one and that’s okay! Identifying where these feelings are coming from is the first step to becoming unstuck.
What are you afraid of and is it holding you back?
Are you holding back because you are waiting for the “perfect” time to start?
Are you full of self doubt?
Do you lack clarity?
If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, keep listening because I’m going to give you strategies to help you overcome these common pitfalls.
Small Steps to Break Free
Now that we’ve identified what’s holding you back, let’s talk about how to move forward. Keep in mind, big changes don’t happen overnight. It’s the small, consistent actions that lead to transformation. Here are a few ideas to help you get unstuck:
1. Start with ONE Small Habit:
I know that seems too simple but trust me, it works. Choose ONE thing you can commit to daily, even if it seems insignificant. For example, if better health is one of the areas you are feeling stuck in try to incorporate a daily five-minute walk, 1 minute of deep breathing every night before bed, or drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning sprinkled with a small pinch of Himalayan salt for electrolytes. Each takes 5 minutes or less and can easily fit into even the busiest of schedules. However, imagine if you eventually incorporated all of these (still under 10 minutes) each and every day of your life.
Let’s do the math:
5 minutes x 365 days = 1825 minutes of walking in one year. That’s equivalent to walking approximately 30 hours when added up. Work up to 10 minutes and you double the benefits!
1 min of deep breathing x 365 days = 365 minutes to soothe your soul.
8oz of water x 365 = 2920 oz of water consumed over the amount you drank last year or 365 more cups of water to add to your hydration levels. This one alone can change so much!
Ten minutes of your time daily can significantly benefit your health. The real beauty in this? I guarantee once you get going you won’t stop at 10 minutes.
2. Reframe Your Mindset:
Instead of thinking ‘I can’t,’ ask yourself, ‘What if I could?’ A small shift in perspective can open doors you never considered before. Keeping an open mind makes you much more flexible to change, and more likely to seek opportunities and make adaptations in your day-to-day life. So, next time your answer is I can’t, ask yourself what needs to happen in order to make it a possibility.
3. Set a Micro Goal:
Instead of tackling the whole mountain all at once, aim for the first step. Want to improve your health? Commit to one healthy meal a day. Looking to write a book? Start with writing a paragraph.
This can be for any single goal in your life. Any big goal that you have, break it down a tiny step that you can begin today. Looking at a goal from start to finish and thinking you are going to make that giant leap can be daunting. It allows you to procrastinate. There’s that block in your mind that tells you this is BIG and it’s going to take a long time.
But, if you can break it down into smaller steps and you can start today, it feels more achievable because you have a clear path forward. You know what you need to do today and then you know what you need to do tomorrow. And if you check in every week and you are moving forward that will give you the motivation to keep going and to keep challenging yourself. So, when this one thing becomes easy you then make it a little harder. When you make it a little harder you get that much closer to your goal.
4. Challenge Your Fears:
Write down what you’re most afraid of and YOUR worst-case scenario. Then, counter it with the best-case scenario. You’ll often realize the fear is bigger in your head than it is in reality.
5. Find Support:
Share your goals with someone you trust who can hold you accountable and cheer you on. Whether it’s a friend, a coach like me, or a community, having support can make all the difference!
A Personal Story:
Let me share a quick personal story. At the beginning of last year, I felt stuck in my own midlife journey. I had just gotten recertified as a personal trainer and gotten a new certification as a menopause specialist and announced it to the world. Then I proceeded to have one of the most challenging years of my life.
Between navigating perimenopause, recovering from frozen shoulder then a fractured foot, and adjusting to a major move from New Hampshire to Florida, I felt like I was treading water in my personal life and in my career. But I made the decision to start small.
I set a goal to spend 15 minutes first this in the morning focusing on listening to my body and my intuition. Each morning when I woke up, I asked myself what do I need today? Then I started my day doing what I needed most.
It wasn’t always easy because what I needed and what I thought needed to happen didn’t always align but as the year went on, I got better at navigating this. Some days it meant starting my day with a workout, other days I began with quiet time to meditate or journal. Some days I even started the day by sitting in my massage chair. Those first 15-30 minutes of my day added up and made all the difference in getting me over that slump.
My wins
Some of my wins this year? I started my menopause mastery course, launched my Small Daily Habits podcast, and most importantly began feeling stronger, more energized, and more confidently trusting that my body knows exactly what I need. All I have to do is listen. It wasn’t easy, and some days I still falter but those little actions helped me get unstuck and move forward.
The good news? If I can do it, so can you. The even better news? I can help you avoid the mistakes I made along the way. You’ll make some too of course but I hope to be your guide to quicker success.
My Challenge to You:
So, what’s holding you back? I want you to take a moment today to think about one small habit you can start, one fear you can challenge, or one larger goal you can break down into smaller steps. Remember, you don’t have to have it all figured out—just begin. Imperfect action is what moves us forward and, in that action, the next step becomes visible.
Join My Menopause Mastery Course Today
And if you need some guidance along the way, I just happen to be your girl! I’m looking for 10 women to test out my new and improved Menopause Mastery Course. If you have been struggling in peri or post menopause and have hit that “stuck” feeling, this course is for you! My Menopause Mastery Course will get you unstuck and on your way to living your best life through menopause and beyond!
If this episode resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. Join our private Facebook group here, share your thoughts, and let me know what small daily habit you’re starting today. Together, we can support each other as we get unstuck and thrive in this next chapter of life.
As always, thank you for listening to Small Daily Habits. If you enjoyed this episode, please follow, leave a review, and share it with a friend. Here’s to breaking free and making 2025 your best year yet. See you next week where we will be joined by special guest Melissa Boher Jacobson, life coach and hypnotherapist. We will be discussing how hypnotherapy can play a role in getting us “unstuck” in terms of our perimenopause symptoms and beyond. It’s going to be an exciting episode, see you there!
Remember, BIG changes begin with Small Daily Habits! Until next time…
Missed last week’s episode about setting goals in perimenopause? You’ll want to check it out here. Show notes here.
Christine
