What if a simple mindset shift could unlock the balance and clarity, you’ve been searching for in your peri- and post menopause journey? Today, we’re exploring the transformative power of hypnotherapy with Melissa Boer Jacobson, confident life coach and clinical hypnotherapist who’s helping women just like you thrive through perimenopause and beyond. Tune in here.
Welcome Back!
Welcome back to Small Daily Habits, the podcast (and blog) where we dive into actionable strategies to help you live a life full of health, balance, confidence, and joy. I’m your host, Christine, and today we’re diving into an incredible conversation that could change the way you approach your wellness journey.
Joining us is Melissa Boer Jacobson, confident life coach and clinical hypnotherapist, who helps clients overcome life’s challenges and step into their most confident selves. Together, we’ll uncover how hypnotherapy works, why it’s such a powerful tool for managing peri- and post-menopause symptoms, and the small yet meaningful mindset shifts that can help you reconnect with your inner power. Whether you’re battling hot flashes, feeling less like yourself, or simply want to embrace the stage of life with more confidence, this or simply want to embrace the stage of life with more grace and confidence. This episode is packed with insightful and practical tips just for you. Let’s dive in.
Getting to Know Melissa:
Christine: Welcome, Melissa. It’s so nice to have you here today. Could you tell us a little bit about yourself and how you got started as a confident life coach and a clinical hypnotherapist?
Melissa Boher Jacobson:
Well, Christine, first of all, thank you for having me today on your podcast. I’ve been coaching people for over 24 years. My origin story is as a performing arts coach and a public speaking coach. And at a certain point in my career, I started to notice a transformation that was happening with a lot of my clients. And the transformation was around self-esteem and confidence.
Transformation with Hynotherapy:
I realized that I wanted to bring that transformation to the mainstream and not just to people who were speakers or performers. And so, I started researching different ways that I could do that. And I came across some content around 2016. I was invited on podcast similar to this actually by a gentleman who wanted to talk to me about confident singing. That was something that I was doing back then.
We became really good friends and then he told me that he had been certified in a certain training, and it was somebody that I had been following and learning from and using a lot of their techniques. So, when I heard that this person had a course, I jumped on it. But I didn’t realize that it was a hypnotherapy program.
At the time I did not know anything about hypnosis, nor did I believe in it. I thought it was a bunch of baloney. I was very cynical. But it wasn’t too long before I became an absolute devotee, convert, 100 % bought in so I was certified in 2018.
Becoming a Clinical Hypnotherapist:
Later, I eventually became a clinical hypnotherapist, which means that in addition to being a confident life coach, I can help people with all kinds of issues with their mental, physical, emotional, and what I like to call their thought health as a clinical hypnotherapist. So, I can offer people a lot of change in a lot of aspects of their life.
I combine that with my coaching techniques as well using a lot of different tools in my toolbox as I like to say that are really effective within a few months to get people real permanent change, getting unstuck, dealing with a multitude of issues. A lot of these issues are also pertinent to people who are going through a menopause journey as well.
Christine: I love that. I love how you took the connection to the arts and brought it to the mainstream. My background is in dance. I have a degree in dance. And then my daughter is also very involved with musical theater. So, I love how you started there, and you ended up where you are today.
Understanding Hypnotherapy:
Christine: For those of us who are new to hypnotherapy, could you explain what the process looks like and how it works?
Melissa Boher Jacobson: Sure. First of all, I wanted to explain that sometimes people get a little frightened by the word hypnosis or hypnotherapy. And I wanted to point out that hypnosis is a very natural state. It’s actually a Greek word so it’s a very ancient natural state that we’ve been aware of forever. And when we’re in prayer or we are watching a movie or a video or playing a video game or even when we’re in our car and we find we’re focused on something, and we end up at the bank instead of the grocery store or we miss our turn.
That is actually a form of hypnosis. So, hypnotherapy basically harnesses the power of this very deep focus state and we’re able to make fantastic change because when we’re in hypnosis we’re able to access the most powerful part of our mind, which is called our unconscious mind. And that part of our mind downloads 40 million bits of information per second, as opposed to our conscious mind, which downloads about 40 bits per second. So, hypnotherapy allows us to access this really powerful resource.
Christine: Interesting.
Melissa Boher Jacobson:
The unconscious mind, it’s very powerful, it runs our operating system, including our physical operating systems. And it stores all of our beliefs and our habits and our patterns. Also, our intuition, and a lot of our creativity, but we’re not aware of it. We’re aware of our conscious mind.
How Hypnotherapy Works:
So how does hypnotherapy work? Well, there’s a number of different techniques that I use to help people get to the root cause of an unwanted issue and upgrade our thoughts and habits. Often times we’re finding out what the root of a particular unwanted belief or habit or state is. Where did it come from? Where did it originate from? Understanding where it came from and then eliminating that belief or that state or that habit and replacing it with something that works better.
We sort of upgrade our operating system. And for me, I typically combine hypnotherapy with life coaching, and it usually takes place over a series of sessions. I also offer a lot group coaching and hypnotherapy for people that perhaps don’t have the resources of time or money to do a one-on-one session.
Sometimes we use recordings or videos or even written material to teach people to do self-hypnosis. So, there’s a lot of different ways that we can deliver this really powerful way to create relatively rapid and permanent change and rid ourselves of unwanted issues, get ourselves unstuck.
Christine:
I love that explanation because it’s less intimidating. I think a lot of people aren’t familiar with hypnotherapy except for what they see on TV or at a comedy show where the person is quacking like a duck or something silly. So, I think this explanation is much truer to life and a lot less intimidating if you’re considering, alternative ways of trying to get to that root cause.
Common Misconceptions:
Melissa Boher Jacobson:
Mm-hmm. Yeah, and I want to say that stage hypnosis is for entertainment purposes. Although it can be life-changing for people, hypnosis is also fun and it’s very relaxing for most people. But stage hypnosis is a different application. It’s not therapeutic in nature. It can be for some people, but it’s not intended that way. Stage hypnosis is a form of entertainment and the people that volunteer want to do that. Nobody’s forcing them.
I also want to point out that there’s a lot of misconceptions and myths. And one of the myths is that it’s mind control. I’m a guide. I cannot control somebody’s mind, but I can help them uncover and make change. But I’m not in control of the process.
It’s definitely a collaboration between my client and myself and they are absolutely in control of the process. But the results that I’m able to get with my clients are really spectacular. And I know we’re talking about menopause today, but I do work with clients of all ages, and I have a lot of fun stories. I mean, a lot of you women who are perimenopausal or in menopause stage of life have kids at home. So, I work with families and kids as well and teenagers. And I do use a lot of techniques that are hypnotic and a lot of suggestion. f
For example, the other night I was working with a child who was struggling with writing. Using a lot of coaching combined with suggestion and conversational hypnosis, this 10-year-old boy went from writing about three sentences in 20 minutes to three paragraphs in 10 minutes. So, it’s powerful in a lot of ways. For a lot of applications.
Christine: I love that.
Hypnotherapy and Menopause:
Christine: I recently attended a menopause summit with experts that mentioned that hypnotherapy can help reduce peri and postmenopausal symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats. Could you shed some light on this? I know you kind of touched on it already, but how might that be effective?
Melissa Boher Jacobson: So that’s a really fantastic question. A couple of the issues that we struggle with are sleep issues, hot flashes and weight issues can also become a problem. So, our thoughts have an effect on our hormones. Everything starts at the thought level and so when we change our thoughts, we change our emotion. And when we change our body’s response to that emotion then we change the results. So, hypnotherapy can help you change your thought process and therefore your emotions and your hormones. And that’s really important to people who are going through a lot hormonally. I like to liken hypnotherapy to being the medicine cabinet of your mind.
You can stimulate pretty much any hormone you want through your thoughts to a certain degree, especially the hormones that affect us emotionally. And those hormones do kind of go on a roller coaster when our reproductive hormones are going through some changes. So, it can help with emotional regulation. It can help us with anxiety and calm.
Hypnotherapy as a Remedy for Sleep Issues:
Therefore, hypnotherapy can also help with sleep issues. I mentioned before that in hypnotherapy, we are dealing with the unconscious mind. We are accessing that part of our mind where our operating systems for our physical body are stored. So, we can use suggestion in a number of different ways. We can use suggestion to turn the thermostat down whenever we want to. If there’s discomfort of any kind, we can use suggestion to dial down that discomfort. We definitely talk a lot about uninterrupted sleep.
I work a lot with people on fixing their sleep issues. I actually have a program called the insomnia antidote. So that can be really important because women who are experiencing night sweats, they tend to wake up in the middle of the night in a pool of sweat and we can use the power of hypnosis and suggestion to give the body the suggestion that it sleeps soundly and uninterrupted through the night and even give the body suggestion that it stays cool all through the night and we wake up refreshed and restored and rejuvenated the next morning. We can give the unconscious mind suggestions about what we want.
There’s also a lot of self-esteem and confidence issues that can come up at this time because our bodies are changing and we might be grieving some of those changes. Hypnotherapy can help a lot with the mindset, attitude and self-love. Loving ourselves no matter what is important.
Menopause and Transition:
There’s also a lot of transition that’s going on. We might be transitioning into an empty nest or career changes. Hypnotherapy and coaching can be really powerful in helping people move through transitions or even grief. Empty nest syndrome is a form of grief. Anytime we have any kind of loss or change, our bodies do go through a grieving process and that includes loss of the way we used to be or perceiving that we’ve lost our youth or our looks.
Christine: Mm-hmm.
Melissa Boher Jacobson:
None of it is true, we’re just changing. But changing how we perceive and accept and experience these transitions in our lives can help us move through these transitions with more health, ease and comfort.
Christine: Yeah. I love that mind body connection. I always tell the clients that I’m working with, as a personal trainer, that they have to think about what body parts they are working, not just going through the motions. The more you think about squeezing those specific muscles, the more work you’re actually doing. So that mind body connection is important in every aspect for your health so I love that.
Reconnecting with Confidence Through Hypnotherapy:
Christine: Menopause impacts every part of a woman’s body, often leading to a drop in confidence. So how do you guide clients to reconnect with their power and confidence during this phase of life?
Melissa Boher Jacobson:
That’s a fantastic question. One is that I guide my clients towards self-love. Oftentimes we have a little voice in our head that is very self-critical, second guessing, and full of self-doubt. This part of us serves a purpose and part of us believes it’s helping us by doing all those things, but it’s actually doing more harm than good, so we want to work on our relationship with ourselves. Learn to treat yourself as your own best friend. Learn to love yourself unconditionally the same way you love your pets and children. You need to show yourself that same level of acceptance and unconditional love.
When I work with people on unwanted habits around eating, smoking, vaping or unwanted weight, it all starts first with self-belief. We can’t really do any kind of change without self-acceptance. For a while beating ourselves up will work but those habits will keep coming back as coping mechanisms. They are going to keep coming back to help us cope with that lack of self-acceptance, self-esteem, and self-worth. I combine self-belief with teaching my clients how to achieve emotional equilibrium and manage their emotions, and thought health. It’s crucial!
Christine: Absolutely, I often start my clients off with mindset. They come to me for a workout routine or help managing menopause and the first week is always focused on mindset. I say if the mind is not on board, the body is not going to follow. So, if you can’t get the mind on board, then this is going to be an uphill battle.
Conscious vs Unconscious Thought Patterns:
Melissa Boher Jacobson: Well, even though we can tell people to get that mindset sorted out on a conscious level, that’s where hypnotherapy comes in. Because even though we might want to do something on a conscious level, if we have an operating system that’s running us in the background on an unconscious level, that’s going to sabotage that conscious desire.
Christine: Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Melissa Boher Jacobson: We’re speaking in the first weeks of 2025, a lot of people have New Year’s resolutions and it’s a high failure rate because they consciously want something but their unconscious system is not in alignment with their conscious desires or their conscious intentions. So, I do a lot of collaboration with health coaches to get to the root cause underneath the surface.
Christine: Mm-hmm.
Melissa Boher Jacobson:
For example, why do diabetics continue to eat cake and cookies even though they don’t want to. There’s a part of them that can’t seem to stop. Same thing with any kind of unwanted habit or even addiction. We have to get to what’s going on under the surface that is sabotaging what you say you want consciously.
Christine: Yes, I think you’re going to be a good referral for me!
The Power of Daily Habits:
Christine: Because my podcast is called small daily habits, I always like to ask all my guests what is one small habit that you do that has changed your life?
Melissa Boher Jacobson:
Okay, so for sure, walking. My husband and I walk every day, pretty much. The last few days has been a little spotty because it’s a really busy time of year for me. But yeah, typically we walk for about an hour a day every morning. And that also leads to another habit that isn’t so great…..we always stop at Dunkin’ or Starbucks. It’s become a daily habit as well.
But walking is a great habit because, it’s good for your mind, body, and spirit to get out and get a walk. And it’s good exercise. Also, if you have a companion to do it with, it’s great to reconnect. It’s time that we get to talk every day.
Make Habits Something to Look Forward to:
Sometimes, it’s a great way for you to catch up on a podcast like this great one or listen to an audio book or music or just catch up with some ideas. It’s a great way to connect with yourself, connect with nature, or connect with a companion. Obviously, it releases a lot of stress and triggers some good hormones as well. So, I think that’s probably my favorite daily habit.
Christine:
Absolutely. I think mine too. I’ve always walked, but I used to live in New Hampshire. So wintertime was not really a time where you would walk outside. I don’t like treadmills so it’s become more of a habit now that I’ve moved to Florida. I love that I can get outdoors at lunchtime. It’s a break in the middle of the day for me. I get some sunshine and soak up that vitamin D. I often take my dog or sometimes my son comes with me. So I totally agree with this daily habit being a favorite.
The Process of Change:
Christine: While I know this can vary, in your experience, how many sessions does it typically take for a client to start seeing results from life coaching and or hypnotherapy?
Melissa Boher Jacobson:
So typically, it’s about a month. I work with somebody for 28 days because there’s a lot of research on the neurology of forming new habits and thought habits are habits as well.
Beliefs are an intense form of a thought habit. And so, it could take many years for us to create that neural connection around a pattern, habit, or thought. With hypnosis, we need to empty out that old pathway and create a new pathway to fill with a new habit. Really everything is a neural process. I like to say that we’re algorithmic. We can automate things, but it takes time to fill old pathways with new neural connections which turn into new habits and skills.
The research is changing on that. They used to believe it was about 21 to 28 days. I still use that. That typically works pretty well to make a change in one unwanted habit or belief. So typically, it’s about a month per issue. Can be more, it depends on what it is. But most of my clients have multiple unwanted habits or issues. So typically, I work with somebody for about four months.
Christine: OK well, that sounds doable though. It’s not a huge amount of time, especially if it’s something that’s permanent. So, you’re putting in the work now and you’re going to reap the benefits for the rest of your life!
Lasting Change Through Hypnotherapy vs. Traditional Therapy:
Melissa Boher Jacobson:
Right, and it’s not like traditional therapy. It is a finite process, and it’s designed to be that way. It’s called hypnotherapy. Probably should be called hypno change, but I don’t know. We’d have to teach people what that means and so this is kind of a shortcut.
Christine: Right, right.
Connecting with Melissa:
Christine: Melissa, this is a two part question. One, who do you work with? As in besides people in your home state Florida? 2. How can my listeners get in touch with you and keep up with your offerings?
Melissa Boher Jacobson:
I am currently based in Florida, but I do travel quite a lot, and I do work with clients pretty much everywhere. I’m going to speak to one client in a few minutes who’s in Montana. I have a client I’ll be speaking with in Georgia tomorrow. I have two clients in the UK right now. So pretty much, with blessings of modern technology I can work remotely.
Working with Melissa Remotely:
I even work with some of my local clients remotely because they can’t get out of the house for whatever reason or it’s a bit of a drive. So, there is no downside to working remotely. The results are the same. And really there’s all upsides to that because people don’t have to leave their home. They don’t have to drive anywhere.
It’s a really great way to benefit from these techniques. As far as where you can find me, I am everywhere. But you can go to my website, melissaborejacobson.com. If you know my name, you know my website. You can also set up a free consult with me at meetwithmelissa.me. I try to make that easy for people.
Melissa’s Hypnotherapy Programs:
I have a number of programs as well. It’s always wonderful to work live with someone if you can. But I do have courses. For example, I have something called the Dissolve Anxiety Protocol, which people can purchase and listen to and learn several techniques to dissolve anxiety within seconds in their life, strategies.
There’s also the insomnia antidote and a procrastination antidote program. So that’s something that people can self-consume. It’s pretty inexpensive. I have different recordings for different issues that people can purchase. As I mentioned, I do have group programs. I’m going to be starting a program called Get Unstuck. That’s a group coaching program. Book a call with Melissa if you are interested in learning more about her programs and how she can help!
And I also have a lot of free material. So, it’s definitely great to get onto my mailing list. I have a new book that I wrote called Joyful Boundaries. It’s a short book that’s 12 pages, and it’s free. And it’s chock full of really useful information that you can read in about 10 minutes.
Christine: Sounds great! Funny that you mentioned getting unstuck, that is the topic of this week’s podcast for me. I figured this time of year with people making resolutions, it’s a great time to get unstuck if that’s where you find yourself.
Thank you for Tuning In:
Christine: I think that’s all I have for today. Is there anything that you would like to add?
Melissa Boher Jacobson:
Just thank you for having me on the show. It’s just really aligned with what I do, creating those neural pathways, those wanted habits and replacing those unwanted daily habits with the ones that are going to benefit us and move us forward instead of backward, get us unstuck and get us what we want and not what we don’t want.
Christine: Right! Thank you so much for coming today. This has been a very inspirational conversation, thank you for sharing your knowledge with us. I’m sure that I will be referring some customers along the way. I think that sometimes our minds get in the way and what you offer is a great solution to help overcome and get us to where we want and need to go.
Melissa Boher Jacobson:
Yeah, the thing that’s wonderful about this, is it’s the medicine cabinet in your mind. There are no side effects except more joy, more happiness, more confidence, and more self-esteem. So, it’s a wonderful way to harness the power of your resources that are within you.
Christine: I love that. Thank you so much.
Melissa Boher Jacobson: Thank you for having me!
What’s Happening Next:
Thank you to my listeners and readers for joining us today for this transformative episode of Small Daily Habits. I hope today’s conversation with Melissa has inspired you to explore the power of hypnotherapy and what it can do for your menopause journey. Today we spoke in terms of peri and post menopause, but really Melissa’s services can be tapped into for so much more.
If you love this episode, be sure to follow, share with a friend or leave a review. And don’t forget to connect with Melissa and learn more about all she has to offer. Melissa’s website can be found here and to book an appointment you click here.
Join us next week for a discussion about how balanced eating can unlock hormone harmony. Hope to see you there. Remember, big changes begin with small daily habits. Until next time….
Missed last week’s episode? Tune in here to learn more about Fear, Overwhelm, and Perfectionism and How to Break the Cycle in Midlife! Show notes here.
Wishing you much love, health, and happiness,
Christine
